I've always had a type A personality. For example, I wouldn't change out of my uniform unless my homework was done. I'd freak if my bed wasn't made. I'd never leave my room without it being organized and everything in it's place. I studied all the time so I got good grades. Yea, that kind of crazy. What 5-year-old do you know acts like that?
Anyway, with that type A personality always came a barrell of nerves and the pressure to get straight As. That self-inflicted pressure has just gotten worse since I found out about the baby. I've opted for almost every prenatal test. I worry if what I'm eating is okay for the baby. If how I'm laying is affecting him or her. If Buster jumps on my stomach is it hurting the baby? The list has been endless. They say it's common with first time parents and I'm sure it will just get worse when my little one is born. But I want to vent about how these blood tests have been the death of me lately, especially when I just want them to come back saying everything is okay.
To start, during my first visit I had eight viles of blood taken. I don't mind the blood being withdrawn and thank God they all came back negative so I don't have any crazy disorder or disease. However, since Rob is of Jewish decent he got tested for Tay Sachs and it turns out he's a carrier. Fabulous, right? I was a wreck. I had to go for bloodwork to make sure I'm not a carrier and am now patiently waiting for those results. On top of doctors not being responsive, the blood tests taking weeks to process and the hurricane/blizzard/10+ day power outage which has managed to delay the results, it's been stressful to say the least.
Then last week I had a neuchleal translucency scan. High point: we got to see the baby again and got some really cute pictures. Low point: finding out my blood test shows a low PAPPA-A protein in the placenta, which can affect the baby's growth and put him or her at risk for Downs Syndrome. Although I'm still in the intermediate range it's still very scary to have your risk of having a baby with a chromosomal abnormality be 1 in 496 rather than 1 in >10,000. Unforunately it's all out of my control and there's nothing I can do except go for more ultrasounds to make sure the baby is developing properly. If he or she isn't growing on target by 28 weeks, I'll be put on bedrest and probably have to have the baby early. The nurse was somewhat reassuring during yesterday's appointment saying that in 85% of the cases everything is fine and that she has this conversation around 1-2 times per week. However, it's still very nerve-wracking. It's not like I'm pregnant at 45 and expecting to be in these high risk situations. I'm 29. Jeeze!
Even before the test, all I was praying for each and every day is a healthy baby and those prayers still continue in full force. Stay safe and grow strong, my little bambino. Mommy loves you! xoxo
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