Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Now that that's behind me..

After I went to the doctor on July 15 I went back on July 25 to confirm the missed miscarriage and schedule a D&C. I was supposed to go on Thursday, August 4 but Mother Nature had different plans as I started bleeding on Sunday, July 31.

At first it wasn't bad but then the bleeding and clotting got worse throughout the day. I can handle the blood but the clots were SO SO nasty. That definitely scarred me for life. Unfortunately the amount of blood I lost caused me to pass out twice in the bathroom, bonking my head, messing up my glasses and cutting my lip around 4 or 5am. After I started convulsing Rob called 911 and an ambulance came - fun times. We live on a quiet street so two cop cars and an ambulance was quite the commotion. At least it kept Anthony entertained as two cops and two EMS folks surrounded me in the bedroom. They even wheeled me down the stairs as they thought I was too weak to walk, which was frustrating. I get the concern and would do the same for someone else but as a very independent person being reliant on someone else was a pain in the tush!

Anyway, the EMS guy David was very nice but said I couldn't fall asleep in the ambulance, so we chatted. Turns out he was a former managing editor of the NY Daily News so we had media in common. I also met some other nice folks - one of my nurses named Bless and a tech/soon to be nurse Nick who was awesome- he kept bringing in the warm blankets because I was so cold.

After two scrapes to remove more blood and tissue in "South America" as Grandma Rosie would say, a sonogram confirmed that I still had more in me. How that happened I don't know because I really thought every part of me came out already. Based on the results my gyno Dr. Culin said we can either do the D&C or wait for it to come out naturally. Given my recent experience going au natural I opted to for the D&C to ensure this is all behind me as fast as possible.

They put me in the Goryeb pre-op room which was cool as it was an under the sea theme. The anesthesiologist was awesome too.. when we were ready to roll down to the OR she gave me the meds in my IV and I didn't even make it down the hallway. After a nice long nap and I woke up in recovery feeling better and a little out of it. I guess I'm entertaining drugged up because I was chatting with the doc and asked what her first name was and said if I ever have a daughter I'll name her after you (Angelina). Not a bad name so we'll see how it goes. Considering she gave birth to Anthony too I definitely trust her.

After being in post op 1 and post op 2 I was ready to go home, armed with my discharge papers and note for work. Now I'm just on bed rest and bored out of my mind. My throat hurts from the tube but at least cramping isn't too bad and blood is much more manageable.

This definitely was a traumatic experience, between loosing the blood, experiencing those crazy clots, blacking out, the ambulance, wasting the days in bed and all the rest of the "fun" times over these last 48 hours (like taking two steps and having my insides fall out in a parking lot). But as I laid in bed last night I thanked God for letting it be over and for taking the baby from me if it did have a defect. Life is hard enough and there's enough wrong in this world. I couldn't imagine if a baby was born with a deformity and had more challenges to go through. I just pray that my baby #2, who would have been due on 2-22, is comfortable and at peace up in heaven.

As my sister said "if it's meant to be than God will let it be. You can't force miracles.. it's a reason they are called miracles."